great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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