But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
