bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
