I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I AM VODKA MAN
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Two words: nipple clamps
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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