I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
