In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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