and she was petting her beer can
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
