at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
