You work out of a Hotel?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
