Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
