4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
