I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
