I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he fucked my hip out of place.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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