Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize