Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
