Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think I sprained my soul last night
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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