i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize