I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
