I just cut my nipple shaving
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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