The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
