found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
