Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
