last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize