the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You were trust falling into bushes
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
