none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize