pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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