hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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