Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
