Don't you send me to vm
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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