Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
