shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
