So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We are two peas in an std pod
We had to coat check the pizza.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Come on in and take your pants off
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
