Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
