i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
