On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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