hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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