You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
