I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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