You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
