I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
