My hand turned me down
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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