Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
