i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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