No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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