That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
