she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize