I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
