The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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