Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
