I will die if light touches me.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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