I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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