yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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