she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize