I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize