I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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