I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
