your room smells of hookers.
And success
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
