shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
