So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize