I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
