Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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