So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
