I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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