I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
