Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My balls are so social today.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
