So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
