Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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