I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize