Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
COCAINE IS GR8
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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